If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
