do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
