I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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