He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
