she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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