I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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