Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
