apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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