I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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