i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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