She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
