we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You're like the curious george of whores
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
