I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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