i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
