i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
