Screwed.edu
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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