Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
