you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
