and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
