Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
