did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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