The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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