Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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