Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
