he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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