My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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