The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
