The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
we're so committed to being not committed
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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