Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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