We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
