Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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