your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Randomize
