You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
