I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
