Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
