I've blown a few things in my day
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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