I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
