piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
