I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
