party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
