I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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