You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
