Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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