I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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