Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize