If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
