I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
