I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
