The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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