So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
