dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So vagazzling was a success
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
