Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
i now understand why vodka
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
