I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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