I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
