Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize