I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
