listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
