Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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