Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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