my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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