she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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