i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize