census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
