he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize