I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
