Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
