that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
