Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Randomize
