trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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