I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
