If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
