You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
