dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
