Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
