I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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