I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
