..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
