What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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